I am running away from you
or maybe I am running away trying to find you.
Probably, I fight everyday trying to understand you.
I try to understand your decisions.
I try to understand
Why you left me?
Why there was something more important to do,
more important than me?
I, sometimes, don't know where I am going,
what I am looking for,
why I am in this place,
and then I think about you.
I am looking for you,
for the love you denied to give me
for the love that you should have shown in actions,
in words, with your presence and care 27 years ago.
I am so far trying to understand myself,
far away from the place you procreated me
and left me alone.
All I am today, is because of you.
You might feel proud of it.
You might feel proud of what I am today.
But what I am today is tears, pain and loneliness
because you abandoned me.
I ran away from home a couple of years ago
as I used to do when I was younger.
As when I did when running away before,
I grabbed my pain, my tears and memories
and put them on a suitcase and left.
Maybe I left to find you or to confront you,
but must probably, I left to go away from you.
I am trying to make of it something I can bear,
something I can tolerate,
something I can carry the rest of my life,
and run away from you and find people who really show they care.
I don't want you to ask me for forgiveness.
That is too much to ask.
You just have to conform with this written poem.
Me fui huyendo de ti
o tal vez me fui tratando de encontrarte.
Quizas, lucho todos los dias tratando de entenderte.
Trato de entender tus decisiones.
Trato de entender
por que me dajestes
Por que habia algo mas importante que hacer,
mas importante que yo?
A veces no se hacia donde voy,
que busco,
por que estoy en este lugar,
y luego pienso en ti.
Te estoy buscando a ti,
estoy buscando el amor que una vez me negastes
estoy buscando el amor que debistes haber demostrado en acciones,
en palabras, con tu presencia y cuidado hace 27 anos.
Estoy tan lejos tratando de entenderme a mi misma,
tan lejos del lugar donde me procreastes
y me dejastes sola.
Todo lo que soy hoy te lo debo a ti.
Tal vez te sentiras orgulloso.
Tal vez te sentiras orgulloso de lo que soy hoy.
Pero lo que soy hoy son lagrimas, dolor y soledad
porque me abandonastes.
Me fui de casa hace par de anos,
como solia hacer cuando era mas joven.
Como solia hacer cuando me iba antes,
tome mi dolor, mis lagrimas y recuerdos,
los puse en una maleta y me fui.
Tal vez me fui para buscarte o para confrontarte,
pero lo mas probable,
me fui para alejarme de ti.
Estoy tratando de hacer de esto algo que pueda soportar,
algo que pueda tolerar,
algo que pueda sobrellevar el resto de mi vida,
e irme lejos de ti y encontrar personas que relamente demuestren que les importo.
Yo no quiero que me pidas perdon.
Eso es mucho pedir.
Solo debes confromarte con este poema escrito.
